Sweetbippy

What American accent do you have? Your Result: North Central “North Central” is what professional linguists call the Minnesota accent. If you saw “Fargo” you probably didn’t think the characters sounded very out of the ordinary. Outsiders probably mistake you for a Canadian a lot.
Boston
The West
The Midland
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The Northeast
The South
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

I will not be able to be entered in the NaBloMoPo’s list of people who blogged every single day during the month of Nov. I missed yesterday’s post. I was gone all day long and too tired to think about it when I finally did get home….at 9:30 at night. By the time I realized that I had missed yesterday, it was already 12:51am…crap. Oh well….I tried..I really did….
So? How are you? I’m pretty good I guess… still miss my dog, lots of work to do, job to apply for, sets to paint, and songs to memorize, but I know God doesn’t give me more than I can handle.
Speaking of God. Today at church our Pastor gave a sermon that really convicted me. It was about missions and how we reach out to the lost of this world for Chirst. He asked if we were witnessing to those that we come in contact with and tell them the good news that Jesus was sent here to earth to die for our sins and that he paid the sacrifice so we wouldn’t have to. On a scale of 1 to 10, as a witness for Christ, I am a -5. I haven’t witnessed to anyone other than kids at Vacation Bible school, and I certainly haven’t led anyone to salvation in the Lord.
All I kept saying to myself was, how can I lead anyone to know Jesus, if I feel unworthy and dead inside? How do I give people hope of an eternity spent with Jesus and a peace if I have trouble beieveing it myself? Every Christian asks themselves questions about not only their salvation, but how their faith is tested and what their purpose is. I have so much ugly junk inside my heart and head from years of pain and self abuse, even though I KNOW Jesus is my savior, I don’t share that with many poeple because I don’t feel worthy enough to do it. I still don’t fully get that I am worthy of God’s love, made in his image, and His precious child. How do you shine the light of God from your heart, if it’s all yucky and dim from all the garbage you keep bringing in? I don’t know the answer to that question. I’m still figuering it out. When I figure it out I will let you know…in the mean time.
Do you know Jesus? Do you want to know Jesus? Because He longs to know you. To let you know that there is a way, a thing to fill that empty space in your heart and life. His name is Jesus and as simple as it sounds, He wants to be the one you turn to and the one who holds you when you cry, in sorrow and in joy. He is the way….I know He is and I want to live my life like the song I sang this morning at the end of our service.

“This is my desire, to honor you.
Lord with all my heart I worship you.
All I have within me, I give you praise.
All that I adore is in you.
Every breath that I take, every moment I’m awake.
Lord have your way in me.”

I have a Golden retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned by the diet?
I told her no; it was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door

Jack* You scored 76% kindness, 41% courage, 44% seedy past, and 46% secretiveness!

“Three days ago, we all died. We should all be able to start over.” You are Jack. You are compassionate, heroic, and a bit of a martyr. You are brave and a natural leader. However, you shouldn’t keep so much bottled up inside. You are so busy taking care of others that you have no time or energy to take care of yourself. Take a load off once in a while and play some golf with Hurley. You need to relax pretty soon or else you’ll be no good for anyone anymore – including yourself! Your polar opposite is: Shannon. You are similar to: Sayid and Boone.

Link: The Which Lost Character Are You Test written by ack_attack on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Eyes puffy and swollen, tossed and turned all night. Dreamt about my dog who is gone. Feeling the after effects of losing the idea that she was the right dog for us. I have never experienced this before and man it sucks. I feel relief because she won’t be able to potentially hurt my child again. I feel pain because I miss her and truely loved her the short time she was with us.
I called the shelter where I took her yesterday. I needed to know what time she was put down. It was 4:15 when I brought her in. I left at 4:30, she was gone by 5:00pm. I asked if they saved her collar, so I could have the tag. No, they didn’t, but I will get her remains at a later date. Wow. The animal control officer said that she was put down pretty quickly after I came in because they didn’t want her to be scared waiting around in the holding area, and for that, I am grateful. I didn’t want her last moments to be full of fear and panic. She was so frightened in the car on the way there. She was shaking and crying in the way that she did when she wanted to be a good girl and not make too much noise, but just enough to let us know she was scared. I held her under her chin and she moved in close to me. I spoke softly to her and told her I was sorry and that I did love her, but I had no choice. I know she didn’t understand.
By the time we got out of the car and in the door, she was a different dog. She was barking, and howling, and out of control. She was tugging and struggling against the leash. I had never seen her react that strongly before. It was a mixture of excitement and fear. Another male officer came and put another leash on her and she peed all over the floor. Still barking and jumping around. I tried to pick her up to comfort her and she wriggled out of my arms. At that moment I knew that our goodbye was said in the car and I didn’t know this dog anymore. He led her away and I filled out the paperwork and paid for her euthenization. I held back as many tears as I could, but they wouldn’t stop. I left there and called my Mom and cried. She was gone. Probably by the time I got home and laid down at 5:00, she was gone.
I dreamt about her all last night. She was running thru the house and I could hear her nails on the wood floors and she made a leap on to the bed and then she ran out of the room. There were two of her. I kept asking if she was really gone. Did they really do it? Then I woke up. Over and over again…I heard her running and then back out again. I hope they don’t happen every night……it is too quiet in the house…no whining, no scratching at her crate. No barking at the door…or sniffing thru the house. Too quiet.
I think the best thing I have done for her was give her our home for a little while and the love we gave her was the best we could do. Goodbye, girl.

It’s a very sad day in our house. Our dog Sadie bit MJ for the second time, but this time on the face. When she bit him the first time, it was on the thumb and she drew blood and it was minor. Today, she crossed the line by biting his face. His nose has two scrapes and his upper lip was punctured by her tooth. Jon and I both made the decision after the first quarentine that if this happened again, there was not any another option but to put her down. I tried to find another home for her without children, but most shelters wouldn’t take her because of the history of biting. The Human Society we got her from offered to take her back as a last resort, but we thought that we could rehabilitate her. We were wrong. Like Jon said over at RandomCommands, we don’t know what her life was like before we got her. She has a scar on her nose and is fearful of yelling and anyone who stands over her. Fear + excitment = disaster.
More than anything, I cry for my children and the hard life lesson they are having to learn thru this experience. I never imagined that we would be going through this. My cynical self is crying out, “Come on Ang..you had to know that you didn’t get the “perfect dog”, you didn’t do enough and this is exactly what could have happened…it does all the time.” Except this time, we really feel we did what was right by our children and their safety and didn’t keep her just because she was cute and appeared to be a sweet happy dog. Like so many people out there, we didn’t keep her locked up in the backyard to avoid dealing with her unpleasant behavior and further neglecting her making her even more neruotic. For that I feel like we did the right thing.
I also cry because seeing the looks on their faces when they realized this was not a threat, but a reality. It just breaks my heart. We will be dealing with the aftermath for a while and Christmas will be hard because we had plans to get the “cousin beagles” together at my sisters house to meet each other. I didn’t even get to have my Mom or Dad or Sister meet the newest “furever” member of our family. Now she is gone and all we have is pictures, memories, and eventually her ashes.
Because we loved her despite the problems she had, and she did bring us joy while she was here, we will give her a proper burial and give our children peace and closure to help them get through our loss.
She will be missed.

Mother’s Day Out.

Amen.

Did you see Oprah the other day? Did you see Kirstie Alley on there strutting her Jenny Craig stuff in a bikini? She made a goal a year ago to come out at her goal weight in a bikini on national TV. She looked pretty good for 55 years old. I know I won’t look that good in a bikini at 55, stripper hose or not!
This morning on one of the morning shows, I see a reporter talking about people’s motivation to lose weight. Do they do it because they want to be healthy and lessen their risk of dieing? No..most people would do it to save face. Some magazine did an experiement. Took some men and women and did a photo shoot of them in bikini’s and speedos. Gave them a goal: lose 15 lbs. in 2 months. No diet plan, no trainers, just the threat of total humiliation by publishing thier photos in the magazine for all the world to see. During that 2 month period, they were emailed a picture of themselves to keep their shame level high so the motivation wouldn’t wane. I guess it worked. They all came back and everyone but 1 women reached their goal of 15 lbs. lost. The woman who fell short of the goal by 3 lbs. was granted a pardon.
This begs the question for a lot of us. Would you, would I be motivated enough to be shamed into reaching a goal so that we could avoid be humiliated? I say obviously not because I feel humiliated and shamed by my weight already, so could you really use that as a motivator for losing weight? I don’t know. I am not sure I am willing to use that tactict as yet another way to fail at dieting.
Speaking of dieting. I talked about this a while ago and have been waiting for word back from my insurance about the gastric surgery I want to have. I called the Dr.’s office 2 weeks ago and asked them about the letter. I was told every time I called that they would get back to me. Nothing. I called this morning and was told that they submitted a letter on Oct. 11 asking for approval. It is 4 days shy of the 30 day turn around, so they say. Funny because when I was researching this whole thing, I called my insurance myself and spoke with someone about the process and they said that once the letter asking for approval was sent in the determination would be a 24 hour turn around. I guess not huh?

It’s frustrating because if I call, I get a standard answer, “I’ll call your insurance and see what is up.” That is what this girl said 2 weeks ago and I haven’t heard anything back from her. It feels like she and the insurance are holding my life in their hands. If they say no, then I have a whole lot more work to do to get approved, if they say yes, then my life will change forever and I can become the active fully involved Mom and wife I want to be under all this weight that is literally weighing me down. Knowing that a YES from the insurance will also mean drastic changes in lifestyle and eating habits is just one facet of how things will be different for me and my family. As hard as it might be, I want to be free of all the problems I have because of my weight.
I guess now the only thing I can do is hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Feels like 4 years all over again.

For the 100th time: Mom:”Michael Jon, why are you out of bed?”

Mom:”Come here so I can spank your bottom.”

MJ:”No, I don’t want a spanking……” attempts to run away

Mom:”1…2…3.. NOW”

MJ: fear in his eyes  “But I don’t wanna spanking!”

Mom:”Then why are you out here, when Daddy and I have sent you to bed already?”

MJ: “Cuz…I wanna hang out wif you.”

(wish you could have seen his cute face…darn him!)

Mom and Dad: stiffled laughter

MJ: grin and giggle

Mom:” I love that you love to “hang out” with us, but it’s time for you to go to bed. Now go.”

MJ: giggle. “Ok”

I have to apologize for yesterdays post. I did sustain a crafting injury, but I was at church when I posted that. It was our Upward Evaluations for the upcoming season and I was sitting at the table with Jon’s laptop posting before the day got away from me. I had to cut it short and end it sounding like a total dork, which on most days is not that hard for me to do…sound like a total dork that is.

This morning I not only re-hurt my hand, but I also twisted my knee…great. Like I really need another freakin thing to keep my from doing the frillion and 3 things I have to do.
Besides, there is MUST SEE TV to keep up with..we are so behind on our show watching….I’ve been a bad girl and spending a lot of time away from home, and while I love LOVE doing my thing with friends, I know I have been skipping out on a lot of my duties here at home. Not only the chores of everyday life, but the time and energy I haven’t given to my kids and husband. Jon deserves a medal for all the stuff he has done in my place while I was out running around. Two birthday parties, Upward Evals, drama rehearsal, feeding the kids, making sure the dog doesn’t run away….You are awesome! Thanks Honey!
I have been trying to keep the same train of thought for the last hour or so and trying to keep this post from sounding disconnected…well doesn’t seem like I made it! I think I’ll end it for now….tomorrow will be fun and not whiney….I think I’ll pick a topic out of my new book of blog ideas…stay tuned! I promise it will get better!