I hear crickets chirpping….

Is anyone out there? Don’t you love me anymore? Can you tell I’m doped up on drugs to make the pain go away? Still feel like the stuff on the bottom of yer shoe, but that is waaay better than I felt the day before.

I went to bed last night with a killer headache and my glands are so swollen still that I couldn’t get comfortable enough to sleep. I tried different positions, massage, and even an ice pack. Nothing helped. Finally after struggling to get to sleep with no success, I called Dr. G’s emergency voice mail at 6:53am. At 8:15 or so he called me back and told me I could take a pain reliever and if I wanted, I could come by the office to pick up some samples. I told him I had hydrocodone (generic for Vicodin) already, but wasn’t sure if I should take it for the pain or not. He assured me I could and I was looking forward to getting some good sleep. I took it at 9am and laid down. By 10 am, I awoke with what I can only describe as what I thought a migraine would be. I couldn’t look at any light, it hurt to move my head, nausea, and dizziness. I awoke from a horrible dream that Michael Jon had been running around the neighborhood with his best friend Nana and I kept yelling for them to come home. She was telling me that Michael was lost. I walked around the neighborhood looking for him and finally I saw him. He was sitting on a fence and looked as if he was ready to jump off. I called his name and he looked around and saw me and then jumped down. When he did I heard a loud splash and I ran as fast as I could, which is always in slow motion in dreams. When I came to where he was, he was upside down in the water kicking and struggling. I reached in and tried to pull him out by his ankle and I was screaming for help. I managed to get him out but he was blue and I was screaming…..I woke with my heart racing and felt like I was going to vomit. Thanks Vicodin, you MOFO…

I obviously got no relief for my pain and now I was dreaming horrible dreams about my child. It was like deja vu.  I had a very similar experience back in 94 when Lauren was born and I was in pain from a tear and I dreamt I killed her by putting a pillow over her. It was awful. I vowed I wouldn’t take vicodin again after that. I would treat it like an allergy. I knew I shouldn’t have let my chiropractor give me that medicine. I should have insisted on something else. I was hoping that it wouldn’t do to me what it had done in the past. No such luck.

Anyway, short post turned long…….I called my doc and still haven’t heard back from him. I had to ride the roller coaster of  pain and nausea for 4 more hours until it moved out of my system. I guess sleep isn’t as important as I thought it was, because I haven’t gotten a whole lot in the last 48 hours. Oh well. I think eventually I will be so tired I will just be able to sleep. Don’t know when that will be, but when it comes, I will welcome it!

Now I am up and making up for lost time. I seem to be soo hungry. In the last 48 hours I have only had 3 meals because it hurt too much to swallow. Maybe that is why I had such a terrible headache? Even my nurse friend was stumped when I called her in a crying panic and wanted her to tell me what to do for the pain.

Dan’s sleepover with 5 boys is tomorrow…have to feel better. So I can leave. And spend the night at Nat’s house. 😀 My Mama didn’t raise no fool. 7 boys, small house = crazy. Homie don’t play that.