Tag: so funny

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Man, I used to be funny when I blogged…long, long ago in a galaxy far away.

Death by sucrose

Psst… Matt this post is by: Angie at 12:01pm on 07/18/2006.

I am looking into a new way of life. Sugar Coma. Ever heard of it? I just discovered it myself actually. Comine spaghetti, gooey butter cake in obscene amounts, and what’s left in your system from last night’s Ambien, and mix. Viola! Sugar Coma. Don’t be alarmed. I am ok for now. I expect it to completely take over any minute now.

Oh and here is another peice of advice. Don’t drink a half gallon of apple juice in less than 2 hours. Especially when your fridge’s water filter is removed because you need to change it and so the water that comes out of the fridge tastes like the water that you would pull out of your toilet on a hot day. And you are so thristy that your lips are all chapped and you haven’t been drinking much water because no matter what you flavor it with, it smells and tastes like your dog (if you had one) used it to rinse the stinky doggie breath out of his mouth, spit it into said toilet on a hot day and said toilet was outside. Yeah, that bad. Anywhooo…yeah and when you drink nearly that much apple juice and then eat dinner, don’t be surprised if you have to run to the bathroom every 5 min. I’m just saying this in case you were craving apple juice. in large quantities. Don’t. You’ll be glad you listened to me. Oh and we finally changed our water filter…..(Dan was complaining that it was taking forever!)…… Not a moment too soon, I was going resort to drinking milk or worse- coffee! I know, I know huh?!!

On a lighter note, I am going to see Tim McGraw and Faith Hill in concert on Friday with my very bestest, most favorite sister in all the world!! Well, ok, I only have one sister, but if I had more, she would be numero uno, the petite enchillada! 😀 I am so excited, I can’t wait! I only have a frillion and three things left to do before she gets here and yet, here I sit, in a sugar coma….well maybe not coma, but definately a sugar doze. nap? wotevah! Bring on the gooey butter cake/bars….with the stick of buttah and 4 cups of powdered sugar and 3 eggs AND a yellow cake mix! OHMYGOLLYGEE….yum-o!

well I am off for a snooze in my sugar boat….adios world.

*** disclaimer ***
Angie is not responsible for what ever non-sense comes out of her mouth when said butter bars are consumed. Who thought of those things anyways? The cake mafia?

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Misplaced by Angie at 12:01pm on 07/18/2006

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Dear Flabby,

See I have this friend.

She is a great person. She listens patiently, has a special way of asking how you are and really meaning it (which sometimes that makes me burst into tears), and always ALWAYS comments on my blog posts.

But I’ve let her down.

How do I say I’m sorry to the one person who has never let my blog down? Who is always there to cheer me on when I am down, who calls me to see how I am doing when I don’t keep in touch, and who sets such a real life Godly example of how to be a woman and Mom?

Do I send a card? Flowers? Shoes or jewelry?? Please help!

Signed,
Blog Blunder Betty

Dear Blunder,

You really can’t aplogize enough for the hurt and pain you have caused your friend. If you were really her friend, you would have sent a fruit basket with two plane tickets to Aruba or a backpacking trip thru the Ozark Mountains or something! You should be ashamed of yourself. You call yourself a blogger. You call yourself a friend!

Go pack your blogging bag and get the heck outta here. Go on!  Shoooo…

Signed,
Flabby

Dear Flabby,

That was really mean. I am a good friend. I am a better friend than I am blogger, I’ll grant you that, but really? Pack my blog bag? What kind of advice columnist are you? I know what I’ll do. Thanks for nothing!

Signed,
Blogger Flogged Betty

Dear Debbi,

I’m sorry for not including you in my last blog post. It was wrong. You read my blog also. Also, you comment regularly and I always look forward to what you have to say. Let’s make each other a deal: You blog more and I will too? What do you say?

Love ya,

Angie (aka Blog Blunder Betty- I couldn’t think of anything that ryhmed with Angie)