Author: Angie

hi I’m daniel sweet bippy son. i am sonic news editor i just wanted to say hi.

i really should go to bed. I have to be up for work in the morning. I seriously never want to get out of bed when it is cold outside. I could and did stay in bed on Friday, like all day. Seriously.

ok, well that is all I have to say right now.

oh wait, ok there is one more thing. PMS sucks! The End.

Many years ago my cousins, sister and I were coming back home from a night of girly fun. We got out of the car and started to walk up the hill to my Dad’s apartment where I visited every other weekend for years. Out of nowhere someone called a race to get to the door first. Now being the top heavy girl that I was, one could only imagine the inertia generated by a quick running start. One could also surmise that I was not athletic as a teenager, so when we all started to run I got overly excited. Like a gun going off at the start of a race, I jetted out of the gate and took off surprisingly fast. Half way down the sidewalk, I started to slip on the recently watered lawn. Free falling to ground in slow motion I almost heard the theme song from Chariots of fire. I hit the ground and there I remained. Looking up I see my cousins and sister doubled over with fits of laughter and in between pointing and trying to feign concern for my face plant they make their way over to help. Not wanting to accept any help, I quickly roll over onto my hands and knees to get up and as I rock back to hurl myself upright, I do what every girl fears. I fart.  Yes, that is right. I honked the horn of plenty as I attempted to get off the ground. We all rolled with laughter and up to that day when asked, “what was your most embarrassing moment?”, I didn’t have one. I knew from that day forward, I would never live it down.” Sure enough some 2o years later, I still get reminded of the time I fell down and farted on the way back up. I guess when you mix 4 girls, uncoordinated running, hysterical laughter and the motion of getting up, you toot. Who knew?

Moral of this story? Run slower and take bean-no before so there will bean-no after.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I do care. I care waaay too much, which is why I tend to go into auto pilot when I am worried about things. Several friends are going through tough times right now and I seem to be carrying their burdens for them. Not because they have asked me to, but because I care so much for them. I care so much and feel helpless for their situations that I go into myself and retreat when I can’t cope.
My Mom worries when I do this and I remembered why I don’t take a stand on most issues. It is mostly because, if I let all those things into the depths of my mind and heart, I would be crippled with emotion and paralyzed to live my everyday life. I came to the self realization that I do that with God too. I retreat into myself and hide when I can’t make sense of it all or the emotion is too much to bear. I become desensitized. Doesn’t everyone do that a some point? If we didn’t to some extent, we wouldn’t be able to cope. At least I don’t think we as a people could.
I remember back to a time my Mom and I were riding in the car together. We were listening to the radio and the DJ talked about some tragic news story where a child was kidnapped or a senseless crime was committed. I asked my Mom why those people were so evil? Why did the world do these horrible things to one another? What made people do bad things? I sat there and it broke my heart and I cried.
I cried for the people who were suffering, I cried for the starving children, I cried for the poor, I cried for the plight of the human race. I was 11. I identified with those that suffered. I too had suffered in my young life and I could empathize with the despair that they felt and the hopelessness for change.
I didn’t know then what I know now. I know now that my hope was waiting for me. God was waiting for me to be at a place where I stopped asking other people why we were the way we are and instead looked to Him for answers. His answer was we are sinners. We are flawed humans who disobeyed God and became unclean. He sent His Son to redeem us and clean away the dirt and muck that covered us and our lives. Jesus came to be the sacrifice that gives us a way out of our despair and loneliness. God gave us a way out of evil.
There is still a place in my heart that I haven’t fully given to God. I think I keep that closed off because there is a part of me that is conditioned to protect my heart from the full force of emotion that comes when I let the true brokenness of the world saturate it. Even though I have accepted the gift of salvation, I realize I haven’t truly given myself 100% over to God.

At our bible study tonight we talked about the Holiness of God and that we forget just how holy He is and how irreverent we have become. I have some work to do. I have some trust issues to get over and fully expose myself to God and see what He wants to do with my sacrifice to Him. I want to experience the full force of His love and acceptance for me. I want to be on fire for God again, like I used to be when I first experienced His grace and mercy for me and how broken I was when He found me. And hey, at least He found me. I could still be living a life of guilt and shame, but now I choose to follow Him and let Him be in charge of my life. I just need to let go of that last little piece I am hanging on to. Good thing I have time left to work on that. What are you hanging on to?

How to make your chin look skinny? Wear a turtleneck and take a picture of yourself with your camera phone at a totally random angle! Works every time!

Used some gel on my face. Broke out in rash. Benedryl works great. Off from work. Lots of sleeping. Not a lot of blogging.

Resume your normal life. I’ll be back later.