What’s that noise in my head?

July 26, 2010

I was sitting here at my computer this morning and I was musing about a few things.  Like…

  1. I can’t wait to see my collarbone. Sooner rather than later. I think I feel it-it’s getting closer to the surface, but still not fully visible.
  2. I’m sure Jesus will come before I see my hip bones. I’m just sayin’.
  3. Why does the store fool me into buying a four pack of yogurt that is supposed to be consumed 1 day after I buy it? I can’t eat 4 containers of yogurt in one day! Dumb me for not looking at the date. I was distracted ok?
  4. I wanted to make Cookie Dough Brownies the other night. I didn’t succumb to the craving. It was like the moon pulling in the tide… see what I mean?
    The recipe can be found here: Cookie Dough Brownies . I didn’t make them by the way, but oh how I wanted to!cookie dough brownies
  5. I have the next 5 days with only 2 children. Not sure what we’ll do. I want to feel completely lazy and do nothing, but I do that already. Maybe we’ll go bowling, go to the library, make brownies… Maybe a sudden urge to have them help me make dinner will come over me? I doubt it, but one can dream.
  6. We moved furniture around this weekend. Every 6 months or so, we move the stuff around so we can clean up under the couch and get a deep cleaning in.house Well, not really for the cleaning benefit, but more for the “I’m bored of this layout and the kids are destroying stuff when it is like this” benefit. It’ll change again at Christmas to accommodate the tree and seating for the whole family.
    Jon used to hate it, now he just does it. I love my husband.
  7. My sunburn itches. You know that phase? About a week after a sunburn, it starts to get super dry and itchy?? Yeah, I’m there. It’s on the front of my legs, so I have the added bonus of hair growing thru the sun burnt skin. Yay me!
  8. Our neighbors house is up for sale. I am grateful that the previous owners are gone because they used to play loud music and park their gigantic truck inches millimeters away from our fence or park it of the street and block the view of traffic. It was a commercial vehicle parked in a residential neighborhood and it chapped my hide that they got away with it.
    However… what if the new neighbors are just as bad? What if they can see me sitting at my desk in front of the window in my pj’s and laugh?
    That so reminds me…I really need to put curtains up.
  9. I lost 1.2 lbs this week according to the scale at the gym. I must be crazy to put this out there, but here goes. 22 lbs lost. Lots more to go.
    angie at gymI’ll only brag a little bit on myself. That shirt? Used to be tight on me, like a sausage casing tight. I know, eww. Those workout pants? They have been my tried and true wear at anytime pants. You know the ones, when you are feeling fat, or feeling skinny. Well, they are baggy on me. Almost to the point of being ridiculous. So…I don’t feel like I look smaller, but my clothes are telling a different story. That’s all. I’m done bragging.  Thanks for listening. :o )
  10. I’ve been inspired by many people, but putting it all out there; that goes to my cousin Tricia. She is opening her life up to us and her struggle with weight. Go visit her at One Fat Chick’s Journey to Health.
  11. My Son, Dan is taking lunch orders, so I must go. I think I’m in for a treat. Maybe we’ll play restaurant?! I wonder if I’ll get a tip??

Until next time…

Love and dangly earrings,

angie transparent

By Angie | Posted in Blogging, Deep Thoughts | Comment (1)

You make me happy…

July 21, 2009

16anniversarymosaic2

Happy Anniversary Jon-

I love you more than words.

Love,
Angie

By Angie | Posted in Deep Thoughts, Home | Tagged , , , | Comments (3)

Thinking Dry Thoughts

June 16, 2009

One bad thing about an extended vacation is that you miss those summer staples you have come to enjoy,  like bbq cookouts with friends, Friday night card games with noshing, and Vacation Bible School at your church. For years I have been apart of an amazing group of friends who love the Lord and love to share it with the community through a summer program called VBS. I was sad to find out we wouldn’t be a part of it this year, as it’s a whole family affair that we fully embrace every summer. Jon usually takes off a whole week and we all hang out together exhausted, but happy.

This summer we are at Dad’s house and that means we can’t be at our church, but never fear! Our local Baptist Church is here!! **cue superhero muzak** First Baptist Church of O’Fallon is hosting the same theme VBS  our own PCBC is and I was thrilled to have the resource so MJ could experience it as well.

I pre-registered him online and he was SO excited  to go and make new friends. We hustled over there and grabbed our card, a t-shirt, and a CD. We made our way into the sanctuary where the singing and music was just getting started.  Afterward when it was over, I picked him up and he was giddy with joy at doing the art, having snack, and playing with his new friends. We stopped at the local RED BOX to pick up a movie, which has become a nightly ritual for us since it’s cheap and quick to pick up and drop off.

While we were waiting for our movies to come out, MJ had to go to the bathroom *really bad*. So bad he was squeezing himself the way only little boys can get away with when they really have to go potty and there isn’t one around. Since the house wasn’t more than 2 min. away, we decided he could wait until we got home.

This is the conversation that followed:

Me: Ok Buddy, I’m not going to speed, but I’ll get home as fast as I can. Can you wait?

MJ: Yeah Mom, I’ll just keep thinking dry thoughts.

Me: What kind of dry thoughts are you thinking?

MJ: crackers

Me: *stifling laughter* Really?  What else is dry?

MJ: …pretzels…animal crackers.

Me: Um, yeah…those are all pretty “dry”. You know what I think of when I think of dry? I think of SAND. Like a desert.

MJ: Oh Mommy, yeah! Like when you eat a whole entire tree. Well…not the leaves, cuz they aren’t so dry.

Me: *snort* Yeah, I guess a tree is pretty dry. The leaves, probably don’t tatse very good tho.

MJ: Oh Mommy! A brick is pretty dry! You could eat one of those, huh? Well..maybe not cuz that would break your teeth. Hahaha!

We laughed a little more and I sent him running inside the house to go before he had an accident. While he was opening the door, I could hear his yell, “NO TALKING TO ME…I HAVETA PEE”.

That kid…he’s pretty funny. And dry too.

By Angie | Posted in Deep Thoughts, Family & Friends, kids | Tagged , | Comment (1)

Dear Flabby,

May 31, 2009

See I have this friend.

She is a great person. She listens patiently, has a special way of asking how you are and really meaning it (which sometimes that makes me burst into tears), and always ALWAYS comments on my blog posts.

But I’ve let her down.

How do I say I’m sorry to the one person who has never let my blog down? Who is always there to cheer me on when I am down, who calls me to see how I am doing when I don’t keep in touch, and who sets such a real life Godly example of how to be a woman and Mom?

Do I send a card? Flowers? Shoes or jewelry?? Please help!

Signed,
Blog Blunder Betty

Dear Blunder,

You really can’t aplogize enough for the hurt and pain you have caused your friend. If you were really her friend, you would have sent a fruit basket with two plane tickets to Aruba or a backpacking trip thru the Ozark Mountains or something! You should be ashamed of yourself. You call yourself a blogger. You call yourself a friend!

Go pack your blogging bag and get the heck outta here. Go on!  Shoooo…

Signed,
Flabby

Dear Flabby,

That was really mean. I am a good friend. I am a better friend than I am blogger, I’ll grant you that, but really? Pack my blog bag? What kind of advice columnist are you? I know what I’ll do. Thanks for nothing!

Signed,
Blogger Flogged Betty

Dear Debbi,

I’m sorry for not including you in my last blog post. It was wrong. You read my blog also. Also, you comment regularly and I always look forward to what you have to say. Let’s make each other a deal: You blog more and I will too? What do you say?

Love ya,

Angie (aka Blog Blunder Betty- I couldn’t think of anything that ryhmed with Angie)

By Angie | Posted in Blogging, Deep Thoughts, Face it I'm funny | Tagged , | Comment (1)

The year in which I triumph….

January 3, 2009

It’s a new day, a new year. Well technically, it’s the 3rd new day of the new year, but who’s counting anyway?? Probably my Sister… <wink>

I’ve looked back on the last year and to tell you the truth, it has sort of sucked. Here’s a short recap of the year’s events.

  • January: Found out MDO was in jeopardy of closing.
  • February: Found out Dad had cancer.
  • March: Pretty much the same as February.
  • April and May: Wrapping up the closing of the school and the end of my much loved job.
  • June: Went to see Dad and visited during his Chemo treatments.
  • July: July was actually a pretty good month.
  • August: School started and I got to experience my first school day alone. Heaven!
  • September: 2 birthdays and lots of school activities, and the news that our dear friend Matt has lymphoma.
  • October: I can’t really remember October, except the last part of the month. I do know it felt pretty long and I thought it would never end. I did make a halloween dinner and then promptly got sick. Coincidence?
  • November: November brought a painful personal crisis, but somehow I made it through and am stronger for it.
  • December: Filled with lots of change and drama; new jobs for both my Sister and I, Sister decides to move to Utah, Christmas without family again this year, tight finances, car repairs, arthritis in my foot and general anxiety about life.

This brings us back to January. Reading the highlights or lowlights doesn’t seem so bad, but the emotional rollercoaster that our family went through with our Dad’s cancer diagnosis, threw us all in a tailspin. I think it’s been the hardest year of my life.

I can’t even say I am willing to make resolutions about going to the gym more, losing weight, or any other thing I think I’ve failed at and want to be better about. I wouldn’t mean it if I did.

I don’t know what this year will bring, but I hope and pray it’s better than last year. I think the best thing to come out of this year is the closeness I feel with my Dad. The possibility of death can bring people closer together with a sense of urgency. I want to squeeze in as much time with my Dad as I can. I feel so blessed that I was able to see him twice this year and got to spend some quality time with him. I’ve been praying that his cancer will be all gone when his next PET scan is done at the end of this month. I think I’ll even throw a party when he comes to visit us in February when he tells us the good news!

I pray you much health and happiness in the next 12 months. In the mean time, I’ll meet you back here regularly to update you and fill you in on the strange going-ons in my brain. I can’t guarentee they’ll always make sense or be intelligent, but I can promise they’ll be amusing at least.
Until then, I leave you with my slogan for the year: “CANCER BENIGN IN 2009″

Love,

By Angie | Posted in Deep Thoughts | Tagged , , | Comment (1)

Please Stand By…..

October 22, 2008

I know it’s been at least 5 days since I posted last. Sorry about that.

I am not sure when the blogging bug will hit again. Maybe tomorrow, mabye next week.

Right now my heart and my mind are focused on the people I love who’s lives I am in constant prayer for. I pray for complete healing for my Dad, who got the word today that his cancer isn’t in remission, but new spots have reared their ugly head. I pray for Matt and Debbi who will be going on the rollercoaster ride of their life when the cancer treatment for him begins. I pray for Valerie who is still fighting for her life with Cystic Fibrosis and the battle that rages on in her lungs that her body is rejecting. I pray for Laura who is awaiting the arthritis confirmation her doctors believe she has. Only God knows what he has planned for each of them, and I trust that He does. I also ask God to help me through each of these relationships, that I can be there to meet their needs what ever they may be and that I remain strong in Him because when I am at my weakest God is at his strongest and will provide me with all things, big or small.

In the mean time, I will be keeping busy with life in general. Keep checking back- you never know when I’ll be moved to write something…and hopefully it’ll be worth reading!

By Angie | Posted in Deep Thoughts, Family & Friends | Comment (1)

The sheep don’t like it….lock the taskbar

July 9, 2008

Or is it lock the cat box? Answer tones. They are fun when you buy 3 of them for your phone, but when you buy three of them to shuffle them up so when people call you, they are greeted with some muzak while they for you to answer, and you accidentally put them on your husbands phone number and not yours, not so much fun after all. Although, it’s fun to hear Rock the Casbah every time you call.

Remember this commercial?

 

It cracks me up every time. So I am sitting at my computer and I moved the task bar over to see a window pop-up and when I moved it back…whamo! I saw it’s really LOCK THE TASKBAR, not stop the cat box. No? What-ev. It’s funny.

Ok, so remember this:

101-0627-thumb.jpg

Yeah, looks painful huh? Today we made an appointment to have those walnuts taken out of his throat. On Thursday. The 10 of July. In two days, my baby will drink some “silly juice” and feel relaxed ( we just call that wine, but ok, silly juice it is) and then they will let him sniff some bubble gum “happy air” ( and we call those sharpies) and then he’ll go Night Night for a bit and when he wakes up, he’ll get ice cream and popsicles. (not to be confused with testicles as the built in dictionary would have me replace that word with-stupid dictionary). So there you have it. 2 weeks of Mommy’s attention and all the ice cream and popsicles ( your are totally replacing that word with testicles in your mind aren’t you? Shame on you! That’s gross. Now go to your room.) he can eat. Then he’ll be ready for camp. And 3 weeks later school will start. Hallelujah! And my days? – will be free at last God almighty, free at last.

Jon is on the mend from his butt attack. He sees the surgeon for his 2 week follow-up on Thursday. Hopefully the Doctor won’t let him be cleared for Softball just yet. I wouldn’t want him to hurt himself and be in pain again, therefore being not only a pain in his own ass, but mine as well. I’m done being nursemaid to him, I’ve moved on to the other baby in the house. Sorry honey! You weren’t that big of a baby, you were mostly asleep the whole time. Thanks for the quiet! Kiss Kiss!

Lauren also has a shindig Thursday night for her Art Summer school, which only one of us will be able to attend because of MJ’s surgery. I am bummed because I really wanted to go to see my budding artist and all her work. I’m also curious to see how her work compares to the other kids in her class, so I can declare my child’s talent as superior. Ahem…sorry…my head just exploded.

Let see, what else is going on in our freakin’ chaotic lives? Oh yeah, I volunteered for Mission Kid’s Camp next week, but I am secretly relieved that I get to stay home with MJ while he recoups. Isn’t that terrible? It is…I’m a baaaad girl. What-ever…I am totally going to baby my baby…movies, ice cream, juice, and pudding. He’ll deserve it…Grampa says it hurts a lot, but he’s a big boy..he’ll be fine!

I went to ladies night out tonight and gathered with my gal-pals! Who knew you could stay until they kicked you out at the Corner Bakery. It closes at 9pm, how lame is that?? They even turned off the outside lights on us as we stood out there talking. How wuude!

I am totally rambl……….<Angie falls asleep on keyboard>

By Angie | Posted in Deep Thoughts, Drama Chronicles | Comments (4)

Oh Oooh. Oh Oooh.

May 28, 2008

song chart memes
more graph humor and song chart memes

By Angie | Posted in Deep Thoughts | Comment (1)

Ok, so I am not blogging 365

April 7, 2008

You can’t really blame me. I have had a lot on my plate since Jan. 1. But, there is hope! There is always hope. Thank GOD!

Here in list form is the haps going on in our house in the last week or so.

  • Son won’t stop drumming. It is driving. us. crazy.
  • Family plots regularly how to destroy said drumming and hide drumsticks. (drumsticks have been made out of various materials including sticks, knitting needles, straws with painters tape all over them, and broken toy parts)
  • Constantly looking for the cans of nuts and other lidded vessels that have been confiscated to make drums. Think we should get him a dang drum set and just be done with it?
  • Work is slowing down, but gearing up to get ready for the end of the school year and work on keeping us open for next year. Enrollment is not looking so good right now, so who knows. We need a miracle!
  • I’ve been trying to get back into choir, but it seems to be eluding me. I missed Sunday’s service to help at another church and so I’m not really participating as much as I should be.
  • Jon is done with his conference and I am glad to see him again. Between his travel and heavy work load and my trip to STL, I have missed him.
  • Lauren is done with her UIL Choir competition, they got all 1’s and medaled! It was a lot of work to get them there and they did great! I am so proud of her for digging in and giving it her all to be a part of the “team”. It takes dedication to learn complicated music and practice for hours and hours every week.
  • Lauren also participated in a Speech Competition last week and although she didn’t make it past the first qualifying round, she gave it her 100% best. It was a big deal to have 2 of her events make it into the competition, so I am doubly proud of her and she is proud that she tried too! Go Lauren!!
  • We went swimming this Saturday. It was fun, but I think I pulled some muscles. I did some “water aerobics” and I think I hurt myself. I also found a new swim top that is super cute. My friend has the same one from Target, so we can’t swim together or we’ll be twinkies. LOL
  • American Idol is back in full swing at my house every Wednesday. It always runs so late, but we have a great time visiting and catching up on each other’s weeks. I think a few are irritated that we don’t just sit and watch, that we watch, eat, talk, watch, talk, talk, talk, and then watch! LOL Oh well…we can’t help it. We’re girls!
  • Oh! I have discovered a new sin. They are called Oreo Cakesters. Watch out if you know what is good for you. They are innocent at first and then you find you want to eat the whole box. I am going to have a few boxes on hand for AI this week as my contribution. Let the sin begin!

Pretty much our week in a nutshell. I don’t have a whole lot to talk about, well that’s not true. I have a lot to share, but I feel lazy about forming my thoughts into coherent sentences and the spelling! Oy, that’s annoying. :o )

Hope you guys have an awesome week. I get to go to work tomorrow! Yay! And then choir and AI on Wednesday, Men’s group for Jon on Thursday, and then Friday glorious Friday. Saturday brings a luncheon with Debily ( I didn’t forget!) and then Sunday brings Church. Monday brings sleeping in and cleaning  and my Dad’s surgery. Pray for him and a speedy recovery!
And then PAYDAY!! WHOOT! So I wish you all happy Sunny days and all that optimistic crap. 

By Angie | Posted in Blogging, Deep Thoughts | Comments (0)

Who am I really?

January 3, 2008

Last night I tossed and turned. Normally I don’t fall asleep quickly, and last night was no exception. I knew today was the day I’d have to go into work and do the dreaded financial stuff for my preschool. I have been dawdling all morning. Sleeping in, taking my time to shower, taking my picture before and after I got ready for work. Totally important stuff ya know.

I got to thinking while laying there with my head under the covers, shutting out the world. I thought about who I was. I flashed on two mirrors. One is the reflection of the awkward, insecure, acne ridden, and premature aging self. In that mirror, I see the teen who didn’t date, who felt so alone in the world of school, friends, and boys. She struggled with who she wanted to be. She thought the girl she wanted to be would make her happy and bring her all her heart desired like a boyfriend, popularity, and belonging.
Even as a 35 year old woman, I see that side of myself everyday in the mirror.
I hate her. She is needy, moody, cranky, and lashes out when she is scared. She has moments of anger and when she digs down deep enough and asks the hard questions, it all comes down to being scared that no one will accept her. That she will be judged for how she looks and in her mind, the way she looks is now and has always been unacceptable. All the work, the tears and hours spent shopping, scrutinizing even inch of herself to look passable. To be accepted in a world that puts the pretty thin people on pedestals. Looking that way doesn’t come easy. She works hard to be presentable, because in the end, on those days she hates who she is, the way she looks; either stylish or frumpy is all she has.
Those days when she is at her lowest, she dreams she is someone else, like this:


Only that dream isn’t a reality and she has to come up with a way to cope with the truth or it will consume her and take over. Her family knows all too well what kind of depression comes forth and it’s not pretty. It comes down to self hatred and is a constant battle she struggles to win everyday. But! Don’t feel sorry for her, because she is a winner. I am a winner. I have won the battle everyday that I get up and face another day. I continue the fight against myself and I win it everyday. Some days the battle is long, but I still come out on top even if I hide under the covers because I am trying. And that is all that matters.

In the other mirror, I flashed on the self that everyone else sees. More than I can count I have been told how pretty I was growing up. I had a “pretty face”. The translation I heard in my brain: You are fat, but your face is pretty and you would be beautiful if you were thin. I never believed them when they would say it. Mostly because I was am insecure. As an adult I’ve had a lot of friend relationships, and have been told with sincerity that I am a beautiful woman and they admire that I am so confident in myself. Ha! The coping skills, oh the coping skills!! I have mastered the most important ones that let me see the “pretty” part of myself to get out the door. I walk into a store, see my reflection and it’s as if the image of myself I walked out of the house with shatters the second I catch that horrible glimpse of the woman who thought she looked good. It’s a messed up way of thinking that many years of therapy hasn’t cured yet.
On good days, and most days are good by the way, I see the green eyes that catch the light. The same eyes that made my husband go weak in the knees before we started dating. I see the girl who doesn’t care what others think of her body. She walks in a room and lights it up with her wit and humor and warm loving smile. I see her engage with others and in those moments, her outer shell disappears and only the giddy fun girl shines and she is beautiful. Her smile is bright and her tender heart makes others around her gather near to hear what she’ll say next. I like to see that part of myself more than the ugly.
On the good days, I see the girl I was when I met my husband
and the girl who accepts herself as she is….

I like love her. She is someone I would want to know. And the thing is, I have friends and family. Lots of them. They see who I am beneath the exterior and love me anyway. They love me in spite of myself. I make it hard for them to love me. I hide away parts of myself and keep them close so I won’t get hurt. Everyone does. I guess what I realize is there will always be 2 mirrors. I will always see the ugly me and I will always see the pretty me and it’s ok that they live side by side. They are roomies. One makes her bed, keeping her room neat and tidy and the other sleeps on top of the covers because she comes in drunk and falls on her face after a long night of partying. Those sides of me are like the odd couple. They learn to live together because that is what makes me, well… me. Ironically, I am the same person as the “ugly” picture with just more makeup and some ninja hair moves. So. The moral of my story is, everyone is ugly when they wake up, but I am still beautiful on the inside all the time. (awwww, how sweet! I’m really sarcastic on the inside too! :P )

Who do you see in the mirror? The ugly or the pretty? Or am I the only one who sees double? Well…I hear voices too.

They tell me to buy more shoes.

By Angie | Posted in Deep Thoughts | Comments (4)