Monday, April 28, 2008

Shoes and Food, two of my favorite things…..

bread-shoe.jpgThis new craze in foot wear is sweeping the nation. Shoes that you can eat. And for you toe fetish people, toes! That you can eat! This all natural, green alternative to footwear started in the small kitchen somewhere in Santa Cruz. Californians are known for their prize winning sourdough, so it seemed like a natural fit to combine a love of shoes, a desire for a greener earth, and the yummy goodness of bread.

Worried about getting the bottom of your shoe dirty? Never fear, a patent-pending technology has been created in a secret process where a protective coating is applied to the bottom of the shoe. When you are hungry, you take the shoe, peel off the coating, and pull out your convenient travel butter-boy and sit in the park and have lunch. Be careful though! You may have to keep the birds and other small animals away from your feet, or you might have to share your lunch. Other patent-pending advantages include pillow soft cushioning (no more gellin’ like a fellon), moisture absorbing properties (think cornmeal), and depending on your style preference, (Rye, Poppy, Marble, or Cheddar) a endless variety in pattern and color!

If you are feeling spicy, why not wear your cheddar jalepeno heels? If you get hungry while salsa dancing, you can share a snack with your friends and save money on appetizers! More conservative? I would recommend the pump-ernickel (get it? its a pump made out of pumpernickel?) It’s stylish, timeless, and goes with every suit you own.
Don’t have any shoes to go with that new brown polka-dot dress you bought for Church 2 weeks ago? Introducing our newest line of kitten heels; Cinnamon Raisin Swirl Pointy-Toed sling backs. Not only do they smell heavenly, but they are as soft a cloud and great for sharing with your Sunday School Class afterwards! The best part is, they also come in Low-Fat!! How awesome is that?

Do something for the planet! Do something for your stomach! Do something, anything. Seriously. Get up off your ass and go and buy some bread shoes! You won’t be sorry….or hungry!

5 comments
  • Mine would be a definite hard roll with lots of extra crust, particularly on the heels.
    EWWWWW!

  • Jon

    okay, thats just gross.

  • You are so rye-some…could I get a bagget to go with those?

  • Does it come in a four toed variety for LOST fans?

  • OMG I totally have to get some of these to torment my husband! He thinks feet are so dirty, even if you wash them then dip them in bleach.